Step 1: Core Structure Check
You’ve outlined three scenes, each with very different tones, settings, and characters. Let’s validate that they:
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Connect thematically
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Build narrative momentum
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Serve the arc of The Collapse
Here’s a quick structural breakdown of what you have:
Scene 1: The Diner in Wyoming
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Tone: Satirical realism, Americana political commentary.
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Function: Ground the story in the “real world,” show how average citizens interpret collapse.
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Key conflict: Cultural/political rot masked by patriotic fervor.
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Subtext: Hypocrisy, fear, misplaced pride.
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Dark turn: ICE call leading to girls’ assault—this sharply escalates stakes.
Scene 2: Jeb and Celeste in Bed
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Tone: Poetic, intimate, philosophical.
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Function: Youth’s inner world + Jehovah’s mythic plans.
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Key conflict: Existential dread meets teenage longing.
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Subtext: End of innocence, godhood watching humanity fail.
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Big idea: Universe reset—spiritual/metaphysical layer of collapse.
Scene 3: College Roundtable
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Tone: Political theater, media satire, geopolitical tension.
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Function: Public debate about collapse, ideas clashing in real time.
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Key conflict: Truth vs spin, imperial ambition vs diplomacy.
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Subtext: Collapse on global scale; elite detachment.
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Twist: Presidents are maneuvering while pretending diplomacy.
Step 2: Key Themes
Do these align with your vision? You seem to be working with:
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Collapse of systems: politics, morality, media, even metaphysical order
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Satire: exaggeration of modern events/personalities (Trampovshka, ICE, etc.)
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Despair vs delusion: some characters accept doom, others are lost in nationalism, bureaucracy, or denial
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Spiritual implications: Jehovah’s choice to reboot the universe
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Youth as pivot: Jeb and Celeste represent raw, unfiltered reaction to this world
Does that feel like what you’re aiming for? Or would you want to shift tone, re-balance weight across scenes, or clarify character arcs?
Next, we can:
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Map scene transitions and overall pacing.
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Nail down a consistent internal logic (e.g. how divine and political threads coexist).
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Refine or rewrite one scene at a time once structure is locked.